I feel like I have accomplished something by moving through December into January. 2010 was a challenging year right up to the very end. The experiences of December questioned my determination. I had once again the opportunity or curse, depending on how you look at it, to face all the internal attitudes that are between myself and a new self as a healthier me.
All December I was questioning my strength. Can I really be a massage therapist? I feel old, achy, grumpy and tired. The chameleon I am, I tend to loosely match the attitude and physical condition of those around me. As a nurse aide for the past three years, I am around clients who are sick and even other nurse aides who are sick from self-neglect. My co-worker’s self-neglect haunts me like a ghost, because it reminds I need to take care of myself when I do not. Do I want to continue this career that is so hard on me just because it is familiar and safe? Changing my career to massage therapy is about changing my attitudes also. Instead of being one of the healthiest where I work now, I may find myself working in a new field where I am not the healthiest. So I assume 2011 is going to be about moving into new realms that are more challenging.
Yoga is one of these new realms. Yoga helps my achy stiff body be more flexible, and balanced. It has also been one of the few inspiring activities this winter. Because in over a month’s time I noticed how far I have become. I know that there are poses that I just could not do when I started that I can hold now. My legs feel good which makes me want to bring more awareness there instead of ignoring them. My hips are less tense, so I use less energy to move about. I feel more confident when I practice massage because I feel more flexible. I practice at a free community center, so people there expect to see the tettering-knee-bent beginner that I am! It is a safe place for me to start something new.
In this dark time of year it is nice to have such a wonderful activity to thaw the bones and muscles and bring the glow back in my body I experience with Reiki energy work. For Spirit has at times turned off my ability to heal myself with Reiki energy work, I believe to encourage me to find new avenues to growth and increased strength.
If you are in the Asheville, North Carolina check out free community yoga.