Recently I am discovering incredible amounts of strength within myself. There is an aspect of me which had been waiting patiently for the scared unsure part to step aside. Many who have journeyed through their internal landscape have discovered new aspects of themselves, and one that I would like to touch on is my Higher Self. This Higher Self of mine is capable and does not run to another for help. She has appeared in my meditations, massage sessions and general day-to-day experiences the past couple of months. She loves to dance, eradicate negativity, and just be in me.
The effects of this aspect aligning with my Earthly consciousness is broad. To summarize she helps me manage fear and especially fear of others. When I am not afraid I can then radiate love. When I do not focus on who is hurting me with their negative aspects but how to transmute these aspects immediately and powerfully, I can be the sensitive sympathetic me. I can open my heart and continue to radiate love no matter what outside circumstances I find.
In the past my ability to move energy in others and my general sensitivity toward emotions, at times seemed like a curse. On my days off from work, I had little energy and spent hours healing myself. I was releasing emotions that had their origin in others. Just when I thought had kicked this habit, I found that this fatigue was from processing others pain. This really only temporarily helps the client and really does not help me. I become bitter and resentful of others and felt lonely. The client does not have a chance to learn from the pain and attracts it to them again. My ego at first struggled with this it did not want to break a coping pattern which was based on self-hatred and low self-esteem.
Would you feel others pain if you really loved yourself?
I stored the emotions I did not know how to avoid in my body as aches and pains and sickening menstrual cycles and the occasional emotional outburst. Then I made an agreement with myself that I would feel what ever was around as it was happening. It was scary but necessary to be able to say no to outside emotions coming into my physical body.
I declared to myself that even though I was giving this client a massage or talking to a depressed friend, I loved myself more! I would be healthy after each experience. I was lucky during that time to get tipped at work but I moved forward.
My higher self came in to defend me energetically. Now I ask her to work through the emotions and she has helped me to learn detachment of other people and events. My massage sessions are more effective then they have ever been. I am more loving then I have ever been. This is now a truely exciting time to be alive.